Well yes, oops i mean no. Alright I am totally unsure of whether to say yes or no !!! Today, I was caught in a pretty tacky situation, wherein if I said ‘yes’ I would loose a friend, and if I said a ‘no’; I would have done social injustice. Great, to be caught in the middle of this. For once, it’s easier done than said !!!!
Why is it so hard to say no ?!!!! Cause it means: you don’t have the knack to do it, You lack the confidence to do it, you are practically hopeless in decision making, blah..blah..blah..and the worst of all; you have made somebody very angry and upset. These two simple letters have put my life in such a mess. My various ‘no’s’ go from a very doubtful unassertive no, ( sound almost like a maybe) followed by loads of excuses which sound totally senseless and it follows by me doing that very ‘no’. My second ‘no’ is the very irritative voiced one; which ends up in an aggressive note and then I am subject to a royal glare and scorn, whenever I pass by; even up to a year past the incident ( shudder!!!). And the ‘no’ that I can least say, the assertive types, instead which I am often the recipient of.
Add to it, most of the self-help books didn’t really help. It is kind of scary to get rid of ymy “nice factor”?!! Why did my life have to get so complicated with all these choices!! Sometimes, I wish I could just vanish so that I don’t have to say a no!!!
All said and done, I wish I was a toddler. for then screaming “no” won’t be such a big headache. I have often read articles about the fact that you don’t have to be a people pleaser. But getting my work done, is so much more easier that way (or is it ?!!). All I wish is that I get the gift of tact and diplomacy, which looks kind of impossible in this lifetime (help!!). Regards saying “no”, any milder wayto get this message across; suggestions anyone ?!!!