Is it so difficult to say “no”?!

Well yes, oops i mean no. Alright I am totally unsure of whether to say yes or no !!! Today, I was caught in a pretty tacky situation, wherein if I said ‘yes’ I would loose a friend, and if I said a ‘no’; I would have done social injustice. Great, to be caught in the middle of this. For once, it’s easier done than said !!!!

Why is it so hard to say no ?!!!! Cause it means: you don’t have the knack to do it, You lack the confidence to do it, you are practically hopeless in decision making, blah..blah..blah..and the worst of all; you have made somebody very angry and upset. These two simple letters have put my life in such a mess. My various ‘no’s’ go from a very doubtful unassertive no, ( sound almost like a maybe) followed by loads of excuses which sound totally senseless and it follows by me doing that very ‘no’. My second ‘no’ is the very irritative voiced one; which ends up in an aggressive note and then I am subject to a royal glare and scorn, whenever I pass by; even up to a year past the incident ( shudder!!!). And the ‘no’ that I can least say, the assertive types, instead which I am often the recipient of.

Add to it, most of the self-help books didn’t really help. It is kind of scary to get rid of ymy “nice factor”?!! Why did my life have to get so complicated with all these choices!! Sometimes, I wish I could just vanish so that I don’t have to say a no!!!

All said and done, I wish I was a toddler. for then screaming “no” won’t be such a big headache. I have often read articles about the fact that you don’t have to be a people pleaser. But getting my work done, is so much more easier that way (or is it ?!!). All I wish is that I get the gift of tact and diplomacy, which looks kind of impossible in this lifetime (help!!). Regards saying “no”, any milder wayto get this message across; suggestions anyone ?!!!

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About ....the little thread of thoughts

through five yrs of med school, and now taking a 2 yr break before post-grad working in mission hosp in India; 'm one of ur norm' everyday ppl. Nothing dramatic goin' on in my life, but it's not so quiet either. Just "a lot of happenings". So, hi there n Have a great day :) View all posts by ....the little thread of thoughts

6 responses to “Is it so difficult to say “no”?!

  • Ivy Blaise

    Being nice can sometimes be overrated but it is also very hard to step away from it… saying no is something we often have to re-learn…. it was a lot easier as toddlers 🙂

    If saying NO makes sense and feels like the right decision…than maybe it helps by seeing it as being nice to yourself. At least this is what I am trying to learn…. it gets easier, they say.

  • vaishu

    lady, if u want to say no to someone, u better b ready for te consequences! if u know u cant do tat, then never say no… keep sayin yes, keep agreein to everythin ppl say n u wil live to a ripe old age- miserable! its like confuscius said- “better you angry than me”…. smart man. no?!!

  • Anders

    He lived in an era when it was easier to get a knife in the back. Today you’re more likely to get a blank stare back. If they want to be angry, that is their headache. Should it be your headache? No! You’ve decided. when you gave the answer, to go the route of being happy. So stay that way, and smile!

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