Category Archives: Humour

Reality: simplicity vs. complexity !!

Recently, there used to be this ad by an Indian telecommunication company, which goes by the name of Docomo…here is a sample, (though I guess figuring out the language won’t be so easy !!)

The underlining factor is keep things simple. Like no one wants an elaborate wedding card minus the invite !!!

And fact is, when do you become a man, my son ?! ….

.…only when life get’s less complicated and more to the point !!

In reality, most of the time we prefer other’s to read between the lines and our expressions and then figure our minds out. This may work some of the time, though most often it doesn’t.

Face the facts; everyone is busy and each person has their own individual bundle of problems. So figuring out others’ may not always work out..and that’s when it’s time to, keep it simple !!

If you are missing someone…give them a call or tweet or message. Don’t wait for them to do it and then latter worry about the lack of keeping in touch. Just do it !!!

If you want to meet someone….just invite them instead of hanging in the alleys and in their shadows or the classical “oops I’m sorry I bumped into you” act, to get noticed.

If you want to be understood, just explain. If the other side is willing to hear you out or not. Else even an email works fine. Don’t carry the weight in your mind.

If you have questions, ask them; instead of giving in way to confusion and a series of “what if’s” and surprised looks !!

If you like it..or even if you don’t; say it if you are supposed to !! No point in keeping someone in the dark.

And if you want something..you have to ask for it !!

For only the seekers shall find it, those who ask shall get answers and those who knock, will know whether the door will open or not !!

Besides, many don’t know what’s on your mind. Expressing them is better than expecting others to always figure you out. Think of it, when you take so much of time to think of the “no’s” and you already figure that you have them; why not simply take the risk to get a “yes” too !!

All of us just have one life, so why not just keep it simple ?

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11.11.11: Much ado about nothing.Is it ?!!

And it will happen only after 100 years on, for that is the magic of 11.11.11. The hype about this day and time has been going on in the dailies for the past one week.

Here, as the numerologist puts it, it’s supposed to be a very auspicious day, to purchase something new, or to start a new project and with the number 11 signifying the adamant nature to pursue and achieve a goal. Hmmm. Well, to be very honest, I am not a keen follower of numerology, though, 11.11.11, be it 11am/pm – the palindrome of time, (look at your twelve-hour digital clock, if you can get your hands on one) makes a pretty interesting read.

So 11.11.11 whether it’s am/pm has been the time allotted for a number of big weddings, swearing-in ceremonies, new project openings, inauguration of various centers and major branches of big retailers and yes, the right time to give the down payment for the new car, and signing up for the home loans and so on. Though when one gynecologist had mentioned that her patient and their relatives had requested for the elective Caesarian to be allotted at 11.11.11 am/pm (either one); eyebrows did shoot up.

Though later through the day, it was not just the gynaecology wing that had stories to share across the halls. Coming over to the surgeon’s ward, our general surgeon on call had to do an elective appendectomy posted for tomorrow, on an emergency basis (read as very V.I.P. patient and auspicious date of 11.11.11am/pm) and when our hassled ophthalmologist had to do three cataract surgeries (read V.I.P. patients and 11.11.11am, again) when they were scheduled for later in the noon slot.

Oh yes, not to leave out the orthopedic’s plight in having to re-schedule his morning 9am elective surgery to’ as his patient puts it as, “a more appropriate time of 11.11.11 am/pm”.

That was just the bits and pieces of the epic theatre drama that took place today. It was practically useless pointing out to the patients that we had only to elective theatres and one emergency theatre available. To which the stat reply came as, “That’s not a problem Doc. It’s the 11.11.11 today and whether it’s in the morning or evening, it’s alright with me Doc?”

Seriously, I really feel that all the hue and cry about today is totally hyped up!! I mean some call it a lucky auspicious day. Others take it as a warning. And me, I haven’t figured it out yet. Still, I am not calling it ridiculous, though my hypoglossal nerve is itching to get it out. Consider some of the classic statements I got to hear today.

It will happen only after another 100 years.

Hmm, so will global warming will get worse in another 100 years!!

It’s the event of a lifetime.

There are many more such events to come.

You can tell about this epic “lucky” day to the future generations.

Two things, first define “lucky”!! And secondly, future generations already?!! Hey, I still need to figure out the present.

Alright, I concede. Today is definitely an important day, though strictly speaking sense and sensibility shouldn’t desert us in spite of the occasion. The latter includes, re-scheduling the meetings and operation timings among all other things.

Considering the auspicious date of today, my day turned out to be pretty much the usual. There was nothing extra-ordinary to quote, except for the fact that 11am was spent in the out-patient wing, wherein which I was desperately trying to catch forty winks, but (alas!) it evaded me yet again. So here am, twiddling my thumbs and wondering what lady luck (let’s say I occasionally can define and believe in it, especially when the need arises) holds in store for me today; after all there is the pm still left.

So how did your 11.11.11 go, even the 11am/pm slot? Anything out of the ordinary or was it just another day?

Here’s a catch. Are my eyes really drooping or does this post go for the 11 times,  “the 11.11.11″ as a part of the hype. Maybe you could figure it out if you start from the beginning to the end; it includes the post line (What’s a post without the head?!!). Stay glued to the screen and happy reading !!

 


Let’s talk about online dating !! Top reasons you should date a…

Well this post is about dating, both online and offline. Though the hype about the former is sometimes far-fetched, it’s been on and off depending on the direction the wind blows by.

Personally, I would risk any dating, on- or off-line; only if I know that I am really on sure ground.

Funny,when you come to think of it, It’s kind of impossible. You actually don’t anything about the person on the other end until you meet them face to face.

Photos, can be morphed. Profiles can be created. And scams and hacks, not to forget the dreaded “v'” for viruses can crop up faster than you can say, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” ( remember, Mary Poppins, and no it doesn’t take an hour to spell it !!)

Still leaving aside all that, sometimes it may click. And no one knows till they try. As the great thinkers, philosophers, poets, writers, the common man say… ultimately in the end, it’s love which binds us all. It’s the one thing that any person would move mountains for. (In doubt, ask Shakespeare or maybe, Wordsmith!!)

What prompted me to talk about this was this Internet find (actually, it was via FB) !! It’s not only about online dating, but dating in general. I know every profession has its own glory, but hey some one has to talk about mine !! Maybe it could inspire you to start the poster, for top ten reasons’ to date….you !!

And so here it goes…

Interestingly, may be that’s why juggling professional and personal life from my professional point of view is, kind of difficult. Though some of the reasons, are over-rated !!! So feel free to disagree.

So, what are the top reason’s to date someone from your field ?! Let’s hear them…


Newton’s third law in “real life”….

During high school days, most of us used to wish why Newton didn’t just eat the apple, and format his three laws years later, just so that we could have less to study about in high school. Well, that was the “high school stage” then. Interestingly, I have recently thinking about Newton’s third law, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” From the physics point of view, it has been the uncontested law, underlining the basis of a number of principles, concepts and mechanic-dynamics. (Welcome back, Endeavour). From the thinking point of philosophy, especially at the work place, I think “the action-reaction-provocation” dynamics holds true.

Bringing into view the usual scenario at work, someone does a wonderful job or a project, which has been felicitated and has resulted in a slew of projects for the company or as I would rather say, for the management. That is the action. There are those set of co-workers and employees who would better themselves and try to bring laurels to their respective departments and projects. The forthright, healthy competitive ones. The reaction-part one.

Then as every coin has two sides, and every object in space, has the three-dimensional side; so are the other set of employees. The ones who try to find out the flaws in “the one with the laurel”. Suddenly, the latter’s past, present and the future in the professional and personal aspects come into focus. Somehow, one can’t fathom why those two parts of life can’t be kept separate. That is the reaction-part two. Though I would rather term it as, “the provocation.”

Dealing with the provocateurs, is no way an easy task. They attach a magnifying lens to your every scribble and scrawl. And a
microscope to your every step, looking to see if there is something of valuable while cross-examine the foot-print  and sifting through the dirt. Usually, they try to stir up trouble. You say a word, it becomes a story!! Stick to a line, it becomes an epic!! Staying silent is the best recourse, but expressivity can’t be curbed so easily. Writing it on a piece of paper and dumping it in the waste-bin at work is a no-no option. ‘Cause the next thing you know, it would be up on the bulletin. In short reacting to them would incite further trouble, unrepairable and absolutely catastrophic.

So how to handle “the provocateurs’”. Another “action or reaction” is required or not. There are two questions that I first consider. One, are they worth it? More importantly, is it worth stirring up the hornet’s nest?  Secondly, does it involve in me getting my chair thrown down? If the answers to the questions go by the sequence of a no-yes basis, then it’s better to go for the tactic, “conveniently deaf mode”.  Initially it is difficult to tune down all the nonsense, but then as encounters increases, entering the tone-deaf mode isn’t as difficult as it looks.

It’s not only at work the problem arises. Shopping at some mega-marts and malls is a headache. Sometimes, sales-people eat your brains out. And at times, I give up on the task of filing a complaint at the store. Let’s say it’s not worth getting my nerves riled up all over again. And sometimes, there crops up the “occasional noisy or nosy next-door”. Going into the encounters with them would result in the framework of a novel.

At your convenience, Ignorance is bliss. It works best in certain occasions. If Newton’s third law were to work out in daily life, it would be a series of “blind and toothless folks” around (An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth!!). So turning a blind eye and a deaf ear, works wonders. And believe me, it make the day less hassling.

Lines have to be drawn so that people won’t cross over you so easily and say gibberish. But a couple of rumors, no concrete words and absolutely, no beneficial outcomes, then refrain works best.

In fact, “no response to the provocation” is pretty interesting to watch. Adds a feather to your cap at work, and a personal smile. No point in wasting your day over trifles and aspirin strips. They have long-term side effects. Besides, your tenure on earth is limited. No date has been. So why waste your time on trifles? Shrug off the unimportant. Life is short. Besides, as I firmly believe, it’s just not worth it.  


Dealing with the personal space invaders !!!

Commuting via the local bus and through the streets was an ordeal today!! Being shoved and pushed through the crowd is kind of almost a daily routine, but today while in the bus it went way out of hand. I was stepped on an endless number of times. Not to mention about the shoving, pushing and the temporary detachment of your upper half of the body from the lower while trying to get down from the bus. If anyone says that subways are better, I‘ll seriously ask them to eat crow!!

Alright, agreed travelling is highly strenuous at times, especially when you have to use the local transport (whatever is available then suffices thanks to the lack of time and your highly temperamental car; no taxi in sight !!). But the problem doesn’t end there. Waiting rooms, counters, department store and even ordinary conversation; some folks just come right up over to you, literally kind of just say a mere inch standing away from you!!! Half the time, I scoot over to make more space, and then yet, I am still cramped up l!!

Why hasn’t anybody heard of the term “personal space”!! I hate when people encroach that space around me, makes me feel flustered and irritated. Is there any polite way to say, “Er, could you please keep your distance?!!”I am not deaf nor blind yet, nor am I dumb; so if anyone wishes to make their point, I am definitely all ears, but it doesn’t warrant them to breathe down my neck or worse, right in front of my face!!! Besides, being annoying it’s highly insulting. Recently, I have started the new gesture of prodding to make them stay away and give my space. I know it’s rude, but I can’t help it; apparently “excuse me, please” doesn’t work anymore!!! My way out, to walk in a wide arc helps and to never stand still. And the occasional frown too, does wonders. I am still working out new ways to maintain “my space”. Unfortunately, can’t put up a sign saying, “Trespassers (of personal space), please keep out !!!


Wanna borrow a jack ?!

Yet another day of mindless worry and endless speculation. Nothing new for me or my “fellow-mates”; which is what brings me to the post headlines !! Ever faced with the scene of supposition, where one speculation leads to another and yet another and yet another speculation, which ultimately becomes the so-called reality. Why the sudden need to discuss this ?! Well, as a part of my internship we have this out-reach program where two miserable souls ( like me !!! ) get assigned to centers of which one happens to be in a real rural area. Oh no don’t get me wrong, it’s not that working is a problem; it’s just that an avid blogger like me needs electricity and internet facilities once in a while and the nearest place is like an hour away!!! Well, before our posting lists could be put out, I had driven every one crazy with the “supposition” that I would end up there. Even now the memories night before is enough to warrant dagger looks from all my comrades !! Turns out I was not entirely out of luck. Thankfully, as you can read my post, I am not there.

Which is what got me to thinking that it is time indeed to borrow a jack !! Well as the story goes, Wanna borrow a jack?,

“One day I went to a lawyer friend for advice. “I’m in real trouble” I said. “My neighbors across the road are going on vacation for a month; and instead of boarding their dogs they are going to keep them locked up and a woman is coming to feed them, if she doesn’t forget. Meanwhile they’ll be lonely and bark all day and howl all night, and I won’t be able to sleep. I’ll either have to call the SPCA to haul them away or I’ll go berserk and go over there and shoot them and then when my neighbors return, they’ll go berserk and come over and shoot me.

My lawyer patted back a delicate yawn. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. “And don’t stop me if you’ve heard it because it will do you good to hear it again.”

“A fellow was speeding down a country road late at night and BANG! went a tire. He got out and looked but he had no jack.

“Then he said to himself. ‘Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest farmhouse and borrow a jack.’ He saw a light in the distance and said, ‘Well, I’m in luck; the farmer’s up. I’ll just knock on the door and say I’m in trouble, would you please lend me a jack? And he’ll say, why sure, neighbor, help yourself, but bring it back.’

“He walked on a little farther and the light went out so he said to himself, ‘Now he’s gone to bed, and he’ll be annoyed because I’m bothering him so he’ll probably want some money for his jack. And I’ll say, all right, it isn’t very neighborly but I’ll give you a quarter.

And he’ll say, do you think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night and then offer me a quarter? Give me a dollar or get yourself a jack somewhere else.’

“By the time he got to the farmhouse the fellow had worked himself into a lather. He turned into the gate and muttered. ‘A dollar! All right, I’ll give you a dollar. But not a cent more! A poor devil has an accident and all he needs is a jack. You probably won’t let me have one no matter what I give you. That’s the kind of guy you are.’

“Which brought him to the door and he knocked angrily, loudly. The farmer stuck his head out the window above the door and hollered down, ‘Who’s there? What do you want?’ The fellow stopped pounding on the door and yelled up, ‘You and your stupid jack! You know what you can do with it!'”

When I stopped laughing, I started thinking, and I said, “Is that what I’ve been doing?”

“Right,” he said, “and you’d be surprised how many people come to a lawyer for advice, and instead of calmly stating the facts, start building up a big imaginary fight; what he’ll say to his partner, what she’ll say to her husband, or how they’ll tell the Old Man off about his will. So I tell them the story about the jack and they cool off.

“The next time I hear from them, one tells me that the partner was glad to meet him halfway; the gal says she can’t understand it, her husband was so reasonable she thought she must have gotten somebody else on the phone; the relatives found out the Old Man had already been asking a lawyer how he could give everything to them before he died, to save them inheritance tax.”

I thought, “How true! Most of us go through life bumping into obstacles we could easily bypass; spoiling for a fight and lashing out in blind rages at fancied wrongs and imaginary foes.

“And we don’t even realize what we are doing until someone startles us one day with a vivid word like a lightning flash on a dark night.”

Well, the other night I was driving home from the city. I was late for dinner and I hadn’t phoned my wife. As I crawled along in a line of cars, I became more and more frustrated and angry. I’ll tell her I was caught in the heavy weekend traffic and she’ll say, “Why didn’t you phone me before you left town?”

Then I’ll say, “What difference does it make anyway, I’m here!” And she’ll say, “Yes, and I’m here, too, and I’ve been here all day waiting to hear from you!” And I’ll say, “I suppose I haven’t anything else to do but call you up every hour on the hour and make like a lovebird!” And she’ll say, “You mean like a wolf, but you wouldn’t be calling me!”

By this time I am turning into the drive and I am plenty steamed up. 

As I jumped out and slammed the car door, my wife flung open the window upstairs.

“All right!” I shouted up to her, “Say it!”

“I will,” she cooed softly. “Wanna borrow a jack?”

By: Author Unknown”

Well it’s a pretty popular story…funny how sometimes all the worries seems so frivolous when more than half of them are actually not a “problem” !! Need a lightening and thunderstorm to get us back to reality once a while. Thanks to the recent happening, I had my lightning dose, now if we only had a possible cure for this problem!! If only…?!!


Nofe ‘air

Last week, I was at my cousin’s place when her two-and-half year daughter went screaming around the house, yelling at the top of her voice,” I too wanna go out. Nofe ‘air !! Nofe ‘air!!” At first, we were busy trying to quieten her down before the roof fell; but later looking at the situation, I just wanted to tell her that life will never be fair…’cause that’s the way it is !! I really don’t need to elaborate on that bit ?! The number of viva-voce where I get gunned down whereas my colleague walks off, in-spite of exactly similar answers,
have become too numerous to count!! Or even the fact that I miss the bus on a rainy day and get late, while my best-friend always manages to be on time, in-spite of losing to the tortoise !! The worst are the weekend sales, wherein your “arch”-friend walks in with a discounted buy, which you had nearly paid double for it and was waiting for a special day to wear it first!! Dejected feelings that plague you when your hardly-behind-the-scene colleague walks off with the promotion !! I really wish that I could stamp around like a two-year old, screeching ” Not fair !!”, Nofe ‘air!!” at the top of my lungs…M sure I’ll out-screech the kiddo !!

Ah well, what’s the point, that’s life they say ?! Most of the time, you really don’t have a choice. You accept what is thrown to you and just pray that the mess doesn’t get bigger. Ironically, when something good happens out-of-the-blue; you can’t simply believe your luck and fear the worst is yet to come !! Weird but true !!   That’s the cynical approach to life, at least mine is that way !!

After talking to my cousin about the nofe ‘air, her statement, ” At least you are better off than thousands of others!!” Well that stung a little, but true. I have a wonderful family and friends, talents that I can still unleash and above all, tiny blessings and memories that are treasured for a lifetime. You get to be what you want to be. Life seems unfair, but every adversity brings out a talent and a strength in you, that would have been hidden if you were not challenged.  When the caterpillar thought it was the end of its life … it turned into a butterfly. In continuation to the pertinent advice that I got, “When you start to complain or even think that your “life is hard” stop and ask yourself, “compared to what?” Life isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you handle what happens.

Hmmm…no matter what said, I think I ll be in this “nofe ‘air” phase for sometime. It’s not that I am not thankful for the blessings but just that I am tired of working to get what I want, unlike others who get it on a platter. Oh darn it, lazy me !! The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. But no way I am going to exchange my patch of grass for anyone else’s. I like mine the way it is ( once when my cribbing settles, I will!!) On the brighter side, maybe life is supposed to be hard. Maybe the people who have it easy are missing out on an adventure. Carpe diem !!