Last night, I was cleaning out my trunk when I came across my old journals. Flipping through the pages, I came across one of my pages, which is as follows…
“October 30, 1995
Dear Diary
Tomorrow, will be another new day at school and I am dreading it. I miss my friends, the swimming pool, the basket ball court, the tracks. This new school is really big. We have some twelve divisions and there are around forty in each class. I don’t know which class I am going to. Will I make any friends here ? What about my dance classes ? Will I be the shortest one in my class ? Will I be alone during the recess ? Will I be included in the various activities? Will I hate all the teachers in school ? Will I do okay in math? Will I fit in this new school ? Will everyone call me a dork because I wear glasses? I hope mom is right. That to approach my new school as a fun place. Something new to see and learn a lot more things. Whatever happens, God please don’t leave me alone. Please let me not have a bad first day…”
Back in my childhood, as per as my dad’s job; he had to transfer from one place to another every three years. This was my secondschool change. Looking back, my first day, wasn’t so bad as i expected. It took time to make my new set of friends and I did gain another new experience. But, the insecurity is still there. Even today, I hate changing places. It’s different to take a break, go somewhere new and then come back to the good ol’ familiar places. But a totally new start, and unprepared beginning..I would rather avoid it. But, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I still can hear my mom say, “It will be a new day for you, but so what. You just explore and have your fun. Insecurity is okay but never let it press you down, away from the real you, your real potential”.
And so I will mother.
Thoughts. Dreams. Memories. 